So, here is the battle for Best Animal with "Real" vs. "Assisted" pitted against one another...
1) Name: Milo.
Movie: The Mask
Reason: You really need to ask?!? Awwrrigghty then! Without doubt, the best type of comedy dog is, and shall always be, the Jack Russell. If you have any doubts, ask anyone who's watched even one episode of TV's Frasier and they'll tell you.
It's not when Milo himself puts on the Mask in order to save the day, but his truly heroic efforts to break his master Jim Carrey out of prison that gets him a place in this chart.
2) Name: Virgil.
Movie: Project X.
Reason: Everyone loves a chimp (ask the PG Tips marketing team) but if that chimp could communicate with you... Just think how much extra tug it would then have on your heart strings eh?
Take a chimp that has his own stuffed animal toy, a desire to break out of captivity and take his fellow primates with him and a dream to fly, and I give you Virgil...
3) Name: Samantha.
Film: I Am Legend
Reason: The phrase "man's best friend" is never more evident than here, where, man's (Will Smith) ONLY friend is a dog. And what a mutt.
Putting up with all of Smith's idiosyncrasies, Sam never-the-less helps with the food shopping, the exercising, oh, and the laying-down-the-life-to-protect-your-owner, which just breaks the heart.
4) Name: Babe
Reason: Well, first of all, they named the film after him! How's that for confidence in the little guy!?!
Not content with his pre-allocated lot in life, he shows that anyone, no matter what their species or age, can dare to dream and realise that dream. That'll do pig. That'll do.
5) Name: Clyde.
Film: Every Which Way But Loose
Reason: He acts Clint Eastwood, yes, you read that correctly, Eastwood, off the screen! He drinks, he drives, he washes, he fights, heck, he even has his own way of indicating for traffic manoeuvres!
ASSISTED (BY TECHNOLOGY OF ANY KIND)
1) Name: Bruce.
Species: Great White Shark.
Reason: Really? It needs to be said?!? The film that created the phrase "blockbuster" and made generations, unnecessarily, afraid of the water, Bruce the shark is perfect evolution (although the mechanical version didn't always want to play.) For this, you Must Love Jaws...
2) Name: Kong
Species: Gorilla (the "massive" kind!)
Film: King Kong
Reason: It would seem through his many screen appearances, no one, but no one messes with Kong! Whether it's man with his selfish, money-grabbing ways or a few hungry T-Rex's with a grudge, Kong will always see you safe - so long as you're blond and female...
3) Name: Maximus.
Reason: He's a horse! Yet he can track like a bloodhound, wield a sword like Zorro, and put all the soldiers to shame regarding making sure justice is served. Take note Black Beauty, that's how it's done!
4) Name: Gromit.
Film: Wallace & Gromit In The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit.
Reason: The most intelligent of the bunch, Gromit is the put-upon, hard-done-by voice of reason and brains behind every venture that he and Wallace have undertaken. Constantly saving the day, and Wallace, Gromit says what we are all thinking, without uttering a single sound... now that's genius!
5) Name: Donkey.
Reason: "...and in the morning, I'm making waffles!" A true friend till the end, Donkey will always try and help you see the silver lining on every cloud, whether you want to or not. What he lacks in brain matter he certainly makes up for with enthusiasm.
So now you have the contenders. Who wins? Who misses out? Who have I missed out? Start voting and we'll see which animal is allowed to stay indoors and which are left outside in the garden...